Surviving the Holiday's During a Divorce

The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy and celebration, but if you’re going through a divorce or separation, it can also bring unique challenges and emotional strain. From navigating family gatherings to managing new traditions and co-parenting responsibilities, handling the holidays in the midst of divorce requires patience, planning, and self-care. Here are some tips to help you manage this season with resilience and peace.

Set Realistic Expectations

The holidays may look different this year, and that’s okay. It’s important to be realistic about what you can handle and to recognize that it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, from sadness and stress to hope and relief. Accepting that this holiday season may not be “perfect” can help you manage expectations and focus on creating new, positive experiences.

Prioritize Self-Care

The holidays can be physically and emotionally demanding, especially during a divorce. Take time for yourself and prioritize activities that help you relax and recharge, whether that’s spending time with close friends, engaging in a hobby, exercising, or simply taking a quiet moment to yourself. Self-care is essential to your well-being and will help you stay balanced as you move through this time.

Create New Traditions

A new chapter often brings the chance to establish new traditions that reflect your current life. Whether you’re spending the holidays alone, with family, or with your children, think about meaningful activities that can become special to you. Simple traditions like movie nights, holiday baking, or taking a winter walk can create lasting memories and help shift your focus from loss to possibility.

Communicate Openly with Your Children

If you have children, they may feel confused or anxious about how the holidays will change due to your divorce or separation. Take time to reassure them, explain the new arrangements, and involve them in planning special activities. Kids benefit from stability and structure, so discussing any new traditions or schedules in advance can help them feel more secure and prepared.

Set Boundaries Around Social Events

If you’re invited to family or social gatherings, it’s okay to say no to events that may feel overwhelming or uncomfortable. Prioritize gatherings where you feel supported, and don’t feel obligated to attend every function. Setting boundaries around social events can reduce stress and allow you to focus on what feels meaningful and manageable.

Coordinate a Holiday Schedule in Advance

For parents who share custody, planning a holiday schedule in advance is crucial. Try to work with your co-parent to create a fair plan that allows both of you to enjoy time with your children. Open communication and flexibility can make a big difference in reducing stress for everyone involved. Keep in mind that the goal is to create a positive experience for your children, so aim for cooperation and avoid conflict whenever possible.

Seek Support from Friends, Family, or Professionals

Divorce can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide the support you need. Speaking with people who understand your situation can be comforting, and a therapist can offer guidance on managing the unique challenges of the holidays while going through a divorce.

Focus on What You Can Control

Divorce brings a lot of uncertainty, and the holidays may amplify feelings of loss or lack of control. While it’s natural to feel this way, try to focus on the aspects you can control. Plan enjoyable activities, decide how to decorate your home, or choose how you’ll spend each day. By focusing on the small things within your control, you can reduce stress and find satisfaction in the moment.

Let Go of Perfection

The holiday season often comes with pressure to create picture-perfect memories, but remember that it’s okay for things to be different. Let go of the idea of a “perfect” holiday and focus on creating a season that is meaningful to you. Adjusting expectations and accepting change can free you to enjoy the present moment, even if it doesn’t look the way you had originally planned.

Remember That This Is Temporary

The holidays can feel especially intense when you’re going through a difficult time, but remind yourself that this season is temporary. With each passing day, you are moving closer to healing and adapting to your new life. Embrace the present moment, celebrate small victories, and look forward to a brighter future ahead.

To wrap it up, the holiday season can be challenging for those experiencing divorce or separation, but it can also be an opportunity to embrace new beginnings and focus on your well-being. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone. At SMITH | ASHCRAFT, we are here to provide support, guidance, and legal advice as you move forward. Contact us to learn how we can help you through this time and into the next chapter of your life.